A look back at Second Chance

Well fight fans, another thursday morning, another TUF review. More cage fighters beating the snot out of eachother for your viewing pleasure.

                                           Are you not entertained?! ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!


Last week Team GSP won twice, both finishes by rear naked choke. Those two fights left only two fighters left for prelim fights, and Dane Sayers (Team GSP) and Sako Chivitchian (Team Koscheck) are on deck to slug it out for the last non-wild card spot.

The beginning of the episode was typical. Fighters talking crap, Koscheck instigating a male nurse, and whatnot. This episode featured the every-season "Coaches Challenge" and it was homerun derby.

GSP and Koscheck (I'm gonna type Kos from here on out, his name is way too annoying to type fast on a keyboard, and, after all, I AM at work, gotta get this review done, son.) had three innings of ten pitches, and home runs were 6 points, outfield hits were 3 points, and infields were 1 point.

Kos smashed this competition, despite a middle-inning slight come back by the Champ. In the end, he won, and GSP said he'd do his competing in the Octagon, and they should "play hockey next time".

I agree. No one likes baseball, plus St. Pierre really looks strange with a bat in hand.


Anyway, back to what my blog is all about.

Dane Sayers comes into the fight rocking a 7-1 record. Not bad. In his elimination round fight, he was a heavy underdog, but came back to win. He also has a cool mohawk, and an AK-47 tattoo. BADASS ALERT!

Sako Chivitchian is 5-0, he's Armenian and he's good at Judo. Word up. I don't have much else to say, I covered my outlook on Armenian Ultimate Fighters in my last review. He's probably certifiable.

Well the fight is on. In round 1, it's a good fight. Coming in, Danes only advantage was striking really, which he abandoned early with a Guillotine choke attempt.

It was looking like another quick submission victory for Team GSP until it didn't, when Sako pulled his crazy eastern European head out of it, and started ground and pound. Dane did a good job the whole time of getting back to his feet, and it was good work on both fighters parts. It was easy to see that Sako earned the point advantage for the round.

In round two, Dane came out swinging, but eventually Sako worked him up against the cage, and won the second round as well, despite having worse cardio. In the end, Sako took the decision. He admitted it on the aftermath that he knew he was ahead in points, so he just "worked the clock" which is another way of saying "I was too scared of getting KTFO fighting this guy and he almost submitted me, so I held him against the cage, which is like lay-and-praying, except it looks a lot less gay. In fact, BenClarkMMA now dubs my technique 'Cage and Pray'"

Here is what I have to say to you, Sako. The video fits because I'm in an office, and my favorite fighter will tell you the same.



Well kids. Until next week, this has been exhilarating.

Famous movie characters who would be successful in MMA

I was sitting around last night brain storming about what to write about while watching Season 4 of Dexter on DVD when a little light bulb came on over my head and I figured I would run with this, to provide entertainment until I can write a review of the Ultimate Fighter tomorrow morning. Some homies were twisting my arm (get it? MMA, twisting my arm...?) about writing again because "you gotta write every day!"

So...without further adieu, Movie Characters who would succeed in the cage!

NEO

                                                                I know Kung Fu?

If you haven't seen the Matrix trilogy, I need you to lean back away from your keyboard, and smack yourself. Twice. The basic concept (for those of you whos faces are stinging with self inflicted slap) is in the future, machines become sentient, and begin to over take humanity. In an effort to survive, we humans did something silly like blot out the sun, making the world a huge barren wasteland, roamed in full by intelligent computers.

                                                 Not like Skynet, nope. No similar plot device here.

So in a future dystopian setting, humans battle machines for survival. The computers stay energized by harvesting human energy, and the bodies are plugged into a digital dream world called "The Matrix". Humanity needs a savior. He arrives in the movies, a computer hacker named Tom Anderson AKA "Neo". Neo is rescued from the Matrix by a crew of human soldiers on their ship. Epic-story ensues, the world is saved. Watch!

ANYWAY!

Neo is a perfect candidate for this article. In the first movie, he is plugged into the matrix again, where his rescuer Morpheus teaches him to bend the faux-reality to his will, and also downloads Martial Arts into his brain. Soon, they begin sparring. The rest is history, and soon our hero is doing hand to hand battle with computer-baddies and flying. It is my humble opinion that Neo might be able to take on GSP. I can see it now...

"Introducing first, in the red corner, this man is a kung fu, ninjitsu, jeet kune do, capoeira, hapkido, karate, jiujitsu and muay thai fighter, with a record of 12,203-0, fighting out of the Zion, at the center of the earth, "The Chosen One"...NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-OH!!!!"

Yep. Neo would stomp faces in the cage. No one can disagree. Shhh.

The Karate Kid (Not Jaden Smith, that movie was terrible)

That's right. The Karate Kid, Daniel LaRusso. If you haven't seen this movie, please pick up your keyboard and bash yourself in the face, hm...8 times.

Daniel moves to California from New Jersey to California with his mom. He has no friends and carries with him his New Jersey 'tude

                                                     NO! YOU- COME AT ME- BRO!!!!!

Daniel meets the maintenance man for his apartments, Mr. Miyagi, a wise Ryukyujin Ojisan, or for my peeps who don't speak Japanese, an old Okinawan man.  When Daniel gets jumped by bullies for talking to a girl their leader likes, Miyagi-sama jumps in to save him. Hard.

Anyway. Mr. Miyagi teaches Daniel-san the way of Okinawan open handed combat, Karate. Through seemingly menial tasks, Daniel becomes the perfect disciple of the Martial Arts. Soon, he's doing the crane kick and waxing cars like it's cool.

Think back to those bullies, the Cobra Kai.

Daniel-San confronts the blonde one, Bobby Brown at the All-Valley Karate Tournament. Through the matches, Daniel-san dispatches his opponents with his wax-off technique, as well as kicks to the ribs. It's pretty epic, considering it's a montage. Even Rocky had a montage!

Anyway. You see what happens next. Daniel and Bobby square off on the karate mat, and just like before, Bobby begins to hand Daniel his ass on a silver platter. No big deal, the Karate Kid goes back to his training, and pulls off a stunning KO of the Night via Crane Kick! Sick!

If Daniel-san would get some wrestling and jitsu training to pair up with his outrageous striking, and maybe gain a little weight, he'd be one bad mofo that would be adept at destroying bigger opponents.

                                                       Yeah I'm talking about you, bruh bruh

Forrest Gump

Neo, Karate Kid, they made sense. I can tell you're thinking "WTF FORREST GUMP? REALLY?" and I'm not lying. It's here, in plain grey and black.

But why? How could a gimpy, bow legged retard from Alabama possibly be an awesome cage fighter? Well. Let me tell you.

He's Forrest Gump.

This dude, against all odds learned how to run, let alone walk, without braces on his legs. He overcame his slight mental retardation to be a star running back at his state University and makes the All-American team. Oh, after college he decided he'd join the army and be awarded the Medal of Honor for rescuing too many dudes in Vietnam. This is all before he meets John Lennon, and becomes a millionaire shrimpin' boat cap'n.

Plus, he has cardio unlike any other. He ran across America, like, 5 times. This is pretty intense.

Simply put, Forrest Gump has way too many out of this world experiences to NOT be a legend in the sport of mixed martial arts. Instead of running through Utah, slaying Vietcong and scoring touch downs, he could be smashing peoples faces in a ring or fenced area. Just get this guy to Greg Jacksons camp and grab some of your favorite malted hops beverage, because Forreset Gump will be doing DAMAGE.

                                               "They said I fought, like...a duck in the water. Whatever that means."


There you have it kids. Three outstanding would-be Octagon warriors, had they not been in awesome movies. I have stuff to do, like sit in my office and study up on MMA.

Until next time,
-BenClarkMMA

BenClarkMMA goes to fight night, gets surprised twice.

Well readers, it's been a good night of fights, and I, BenClark am here to write about them.

                                                        Time to blog, says I. Yo ho ho!


Patrick Cote vs. Tom Lawlor

I had high expectations for this fight. Cote being a former #1 contender for the middleweight title, and Tom Lawlor being a badass all around. I figured Cote would win, however, it wasn't to be so.

In the first round, Cote survived an onslaught of lay and pray as well as a submission attempt, an arm triangle choke. It was an impressive display of holding on for dear life. Whatever, he has ring rust I thought.

Round two was a similar story, Lawlor with a good take down with more lay and pray, and when Cote worked his way back up to the feet, Lawlor outstruck him there.

Round three, well. Lawlor outworked him again. Unanimous decision. The judges agreed and we move on.

Court McGee vs Ryan Jensen

This fight was exciting. Good trades on the stand up, and Jensen had some promising exchanges. In the end however, Court McGee after two and 1/5th rounds of pretty intense fighting secured an arm triangle choke for the win. Overcoming heroin addiction and all, I have to say my hat is off to this guy. Plus he's from Orem, Utah and one of my favorite bands, The Used, is from Orem. Nice nice nice.

Brendan Schaub vs Gabriel Gonzaga

Main card time! I was really excited to see Brendan Schaub come out to fight this evening. His opponent, Gonzaga was a worthy one. These two had a back and forth battle the entire fight, with Schaub outstriking Gonzaga in the first to a point where if it had been 10 seconds earlier, I think it woulda been stopped. Schaub took all three rounds convincingly and was awarded a well deserved unanimous decision.

Tito Ortiz vs Matt Hamill

Second fight of the Pay Per View was the teacher (Ortiz) vs his former student (Hamill) from The Ultimate Fighter season 3. Tito came out looking really sunburned, and early in the first round Hamill connected with a strike to his dome piece that left him cut and bleeding. The entire first round was good back and forth fighting, and at the end Hamill didn't quit, because he can't hear. Don't hate. I gave the first round to Hamill, barely.

The second round, was less balanced, as Hamill displayed superior wrestling and striking, schooling his former coach in the art of fist to face combat. I have to say, I am surprised; I expected more out of the Huntington Beach Bad Boy. This is a guy who consistently sleeps with Jenna Jameson. You gotta be a hard dog to nail the most famous pornstar in history out on a consistent basis.

In round three, Hamill again outworked Tito, and I was pretty sure that he took all three rounds. So were the judges. Hamill wins by Unanimous Decision.

Diego Sanchez vs Paulo Thiago
Okay. So to say that I didn't expect much from this bout is an understatement. I cannot stand Diego Sanchez, and I really didn't see much awesomeness coming from this fight. HOWEVER, being the humble writer/UFC fan/wannabe Fighter that I am, I must admit, I was caught unawares as these gents put on a spectacular fight, Thiago almost had Sanchez choked out numerous times, and Diego fought through everything and halfway through the second round became pissed. Bro, I mean pissed. He pretty much dominated the rest of the fight, holding the superior position, and ground-and-pounding his way to a unanimous decision victory. I looked at my esteemed colleague and Sergeant of Marines Eric Warren, and said "Cuz, I think this is the fight of the night." Dana White thought so too. Go me.

                                               "BenClarkMMA wants a cookie for calling Fight of the Night."

Jake Shields vs. Martin Kampmann

                                                           Jake and Martin in the heat of battle.

In the cosmic scheme of things, you will often find that your minds eye is dyslexic as Tom Cruise in a room full of mirrors. Whereas I thought that Diego Sanchez vs. Thiago was going to be akin to two old ladies fighting over the last Werthers Original, Jake Shields vs Martin Kampmann was pretty much it. Hugging it out for three rounds and pretending to kick at eachother is not what is expected of UFC fighters.

Son, I am disappointed.

However, in true badass fashion, I was correct again my call. Split decision for retard Jake Shields who needs to white out his signature on his UFC contract and go back to Strikeforce where they drink Rockstar and pretend to be a good organization.

<--Cain Velasquez vs Brock Lesnar -->

Dude. WTF.

So coming into this main event, I was sure I was a badass fight caller, going 3-1 on the Main Card so far, only because Tito is a washed up dog turd. No big deal, Brock Lesnar has this. 2 inches taller, 4 inches of reach and 20 pounds advantage DEHYRDATED?! NO PROBLEM! Right? ...right?

WRONG, BRO!

Brock came out, did a side step or two, and shot in for a tremendous take down. To thunderous applause in the bar I was sitting at. I won't lie, I was rooting for him too. Anyway. The fight continued, and Brock held Cain against the cage, not doing much, but still holding him to nothing. When they broke away, it was back and forth, and the strike game didn't look too bad on either of their parts. Until Brock did something like this..

Yes. Brock Lesnar, just like his last fight, got Rolled. However, this time, he did some kind of goofy break dance that can only be explained with the raw intensity of a Mexican freight train rolling somewhere between his left eye ball and the left side of his jaw.

                                                             Get it?   I know I'm a dick. Sue me.

The punches in bunches delivered by Cain were amazing. Though I cheered for Brock, I soon began to cheer in general. Soon, Cain had won by TKO. Yes. That was badass what happened. I admit. I was wrong in saying Cain was smoking crack. In fact, he made beating Brock look easy. I am now 0-2 on calling heavy weight title fights, because I was damn sure that Shane Carwin was going to stomp Brock at UFC 116. I suck again!

Also, my most cool and awesome coach Jose told me so, Brown Pride. Neener Neener Neener, Brock sucks on weiners.


Well kids, there you have it. The recap on UFC 121 brought to you by me, who else?

In other news, I became humbled last night as I was one step behind a guy I train with at Blackout in two grappling matches and a "Get underhooks" drill. Doesn't mean I'm terrible. In fact, I learned, which is what you should always do when you're on the mat. I was glad to work out a couple kinks in my game, because when I begin to compete, I won't be making the same mistakes. For any one who reads this who is also aspiring to become a (successful) MMA fighter, don't be discouraged by being outdone while practicing. Learn, learn, ask some questions and learn some more.

                                             This is me on the left and my coach, Curtis Washington.


Well....that was fun. Stay tuned for more MMA related writes and rants as I continue being more awesome than 3 Xenergy cans tied together sprinkled with money and topped off with sexiness.

Child Please

Much in the same fashion that Cain Velasquez is smoking a MMA Crackpipe thinking he's going to beat Lesnar tomorrow, Jake Shields (25-4-1, famous for fighting in Strikeforce and Elite XC) makes his UFC debut against Martin "The Hitman" Kampmann (17-3, 8-2 in the UFC) and has decided that he's already the winner.

Don't get me wrong. Jake Shields is a great fighter. I even think he'll win this fight. Most of his wins come by decision, but wins are wins. He has really good Jiujitsu and won't be walked through easily. However, Shields has already stated in interviews that he wants to "test" himself against the greatest fighter alive, Georges St. Pierre. Mr. Shields, I have one thing to say to you.

Child, please.

So Shields has beaten Carlos Condit, Jason "Mayhem" Miller, Paul Daley and most recently, Dan Henderson of Pride and UFC fame. Whatever. Jake Shields needs to chill out about fighting GSP and worry about the task ahead, and then the one ahead of that, and the one ahead of that before he can get a shot.

Really, Jake?

Just like every other fight on this card (sans Diego Sanchez fighting Paulo Thiago, I literally could care less about Diego Sanchez fighting) Shields vs. Kampmann has potential to go down in the history books. 1. Because Jake Shields is finally in the UFC. 2. Because it's on the same night that Brock Lesnar cements himself as THE true, inarguable champion. Sure, he became undisputed at UFC 116 by submitting Shane Carwin, but stamping that first "1" in the second slot of Cains record, Lesnar is going to be labelled as a dream smashing Viking, and Junior Dos Santos is going to be trembling, just chalk him up in Lesnars win collection as well.

In the light heavyweight division, we're going to witness Tito Ortiz attempt to start another run at a title shot as he takes on his former Ultimate Fighter protege, Matt "The Hammer" Hamill. Originally, I thought that Tito was going to take this one, due to Hamills respect for him. I'm not sure if I can stick to my guns on this call. Tito hasn't won a fight since 2006, going 0-3-1 in his last 4 fights. (A draw with Rashad Evans and losses against Forrest Griffin, Lyoto Machida and of course, the Iceman Chuck Liddell). Hamill has won his last 4, though he won via disqualification over power house Jon "Bones" Jones. I'll write it here that Tito is still going to win, but my fingers are crossed behind my back. See what I'm doing here?

Oh yeah. Brendan Schaub taking on Gabriel Gonzaga. These guys are heavyweights and they're going to be exciting. I read somewhere earlier today...a link off the UFC website I think, that Brendan Schaub is "excited" and "can't sleep" the night before a fight. Well. He lost the Ultimate Fighter 10 final match to Roy Nelson. Gabriel Gonzaga has dropped 2 of his last three, winning the other against Chris Tuchscherer, who coincidentally Schaub smashed at UFC 116. Both were first round TKO's. Hm...Schaub. By decision.

And there's my calls revamped again for tomorrow nights fights. All caps for the winners.

LESNAR vs. Velasquez TKO rd 2
SHIELDS vs. Kampmann Split Decision
Hamill vs ORTIZ TKO rd 3
SANCHEZ vs Thiago Unanimous Decision
SCHAUB vs Gonzaga Unanimous Decision

Ben Clark, Powered by Xyience

Even though I've only had this blog up for a couple of days, it's about time I talk about Xyience, in particular, Xenergy, an Xtreme Energy Drink...and energy drinks in general. Why not?

In the last few years, the market for "Energy Drinks" has emerged. Most popular is Monster.

                                                            Nicki Minaj in can form

Other popular brands are Full Throttle, Rockstar and Redbull, among many many others. However, one that isn't as popular as it should be is Xenergy.

You may be thinking "But, BenClarkMMA, what does this canned awesome have to do with MMA?" Well, kids, it's the OFFICIAL ENERGY DRINK OF THE UFC!!!!!

It seems a little outrageous that these are the only drinks that I drink anymore, in fact, I used to LOVE some blue agave Full Throttle. That was then, this is now.

                                                        There ain't no rules. There ain't no fuckin' rules.

Xenergy, and all other energy drinks can be broken down by Taste, Energy Factor and (Un)healthiness. I will go over Monster, Redbull, Full Throttle, Rockstar and Xenergy.

Monster:
Taste: Comes in 22 EXTREME flavors, that will PUMP YOU UP, but unfortunately, they mostly taste like cotton candy with gasoline in it. Yum...not. Actually, the coffee flavored Monsters taste pretty good. In my honest opinion (IMHO) they save this brand from being totally hated on. But still...the majority of these taste like chemical genocide. And it's really really carbonated. Way gross.

4/10 thanks to Mean Bean and Loca Mocha, otherwise I'm saying 2/10...
Energy Factor Meh. 160mg per can. The average cup of coffee has 60-120mg. I'm getting these facts off of google engine search, which is totally moot because I can tell you that as a caffeine fiend, Monster is average-to above average in energizing me.

6/10 like I said, average-or-just-above-it

(Un)healthiness Monster is packed with like, 550 teaspoons of sugar, and it's the color of melted crayons...a whole box. I can't imagine what sort of health problems the Monster addicted generation is going to have when we're in our golden years...or whatever they call it when you're above the age of 36.

2/10 Monster will give you man tits and a need to get a bigger pair of jeans. Terrible, terrible monster. Bad Monster...

Verdict: 4/10 below average in the scheme of things, but still worth it if you want a pick me up and aren't going to pound them like most of my peers (and by that I mean, male Marines aged 18-22) do.

Full Throttle

Taste Delicious! All 5 Flavors (Agave, Berry, Citrus, Mocha and Caramel) are scrumptious. I love the taste of these. They're not over carbonated like monster, and Agave alone makes this brand of Energy Drink worth the buy

9/10 Would be perfect, if they weren't SO good you want more and more each time you drink one.

Energy Factor The EF for Full throttle is optimal. I drank these at work back in Okinawa, the blue agave flavor. They kept me awake for an extensive period of time, almost too much. I had to drink water to calm down sparky.

8/10 With a lightning bolt to the veins, this will totally put you at full throttle. Pun intended.

(Un)healthiness Just like Monster, Full Throttle comes with a whopping 220 calories of pretty much liquid sugar in a can. Bad for you, good for your taste buds. Same thing.

2/10

Verdict: 6/10 Awesome taste and energy, but again, I can't recommend these as a top dog in the running for best in this review, they're really fattening and I can't let that ride.

Redbull

Taste Redbull tastes unique. It has a berry-kind-of snap to it once sipped, and it follows up with a sinus-pervading essence that is one of a kind. I like it, but not that much. It comes in a sugar-free variety as well

6/10 Decent, nothing to go crazy for

Energy Factor It gives you wings! Despite coming in smaller cans, you can size up for a price, and Red Bull does exactly what it is advertized for. Energizing your human body. Too bad it has a bad crash after effect.

7/10 Again. Good for a few minutes, then you're slooowwwww

(Un)healthiness Redbull is most often sold in smaller portions, and the smaller can itself still gives you the wanted pick me up. Plus, it has a sugar-free variety that doesn't taste like complete crap.

5/10 so far the least-bad for you bad-for-you drink in my review. I'm awesome, don't argue with me.

Verdict 7/10 good remarks all around. Can't hate on Redbull!

Rockstar

Taste Rockstar has a really nasty, too-sweet, too-crazy flavor. I'm not sure how many varities it comes in because it's flag ship flavor is really really bad. Terrible, it's like eating pure cane sugar and washing it down with corn syrup. My stomach hurts just thinking about it.

0/10 you fail, Rockstar

Energy Factor Rockstar is a normal "energy blend" kind of energy drink. It's more marketed on it's name and "taste" than anything else I believe. I think I got through one can of Rockstar, one time, and had to throw it out because my mouth was puckered up REAL bad.

4/10 bleh.

(Un)healthiness  280 calories a can, cuz. 280. 280. REALLY. Also, voted worst energy drink in America by Menshealth magazine. For the  love of all that is energizing, please don't drink Rockstar. It makes baby kittens die. Really.

0/10 again. Rockstar, you fail. Epic fail.

Verdict  0/10  I know. All the other ratings have been averaged, and Rockstar had a 4/10 in Energy Factor, but no. This one is unlike the others, and therefore is a huge 0.

Xenergy
Taste Xenergy owns. I personally love the Mango Guava flavor. But all of them are good that I've had. Blu Pom, Cherry Rush, Mango Guava, and the Citrus Flavor, whatever name they gave it, all taste good. Really, really good. I love Xenergy.

9/10 Again, like Full Throttle, TOO good for a perfect rating. Once you have one, you're like "mmm more" and then you can't stop, hence, I'm on my 3rd of the day and it's only 1100...

Energy Factor Good. Lots of B-Vitamins come in this, as well as Niacin and some other minerals/vitamins. It also has caffeine, but it isn't the sole factor in keeping you awake. B12 vitamin especially, with over your daily dose (it's impossible to have a toxic level of B-12 in your body. It increases your platelette level, and therefore you get more breath for your buck.) I love Xenergy.

10/10 hands down.

(Un)healthiness Kids, this one has calories, and like I said in the energy factor part of this review, packed with vitamins and nutrients and whatnot. Yum, and it's good for you. Just like Goldfishes, my mom says I could drink this every day. And I do. I love Xenergy

10/10 Actually good for you, no calories so you don't get fat. It's like healthy, carbonated water. No big deal.

Verdict 11/10 This beats everything else by far, and gets bonus points for being affiliated with the UFC. Failure Rockstar is affiliated with Strikeforce, and we all know how well they're doing...not even on Pay-Per-View.



Well there you have it folks, BenClarkMMA's review of unhealthy energy drinks and obviously which ones you should buy. If you're a 4/10 human being, keep drinking monster. I'm sitting here sipping a Cherry Rush thinking about all these vitamins xenergizing me.

Stay tuned for more MMA related articles by me!

Working Out for MMA

More often than not, MMA fighters are in reputable shape, and a lot of time is spent dedicated to fitness and getting in shape for fighting.

                                                     An exception to "more often than not"


Fighting is about as taxing physically as anything could possibly be. In all my time (3 years and change) in the Marines, I have rarely done a workout that hits as hard as the ones I get pretty much every day at my dojo, or what I put myself through at the gym so I can progress with Mixed Martial Arts. Things that come close are, multiple runs of the obstacle course, humps of 10 miles with 80 pound packs, and for just a couple minutes at a time, the CFT.

                                                               crapppp

Anyway. When I began training at Blackout, my shape was pudgy, and I thought I was a real badass. A meanie of the Nth degree, ready to twist limbs and ground and pound my way onto the team and start competing for fortune and glory.

I was sorely, quite literally sorely, mistaken.

                                                Realistic portrayal of how working out for MMA feels.

Practice begins at 6:30, (1800 for us military types) but I'm in there much earlier, wrapping my hands and working on footwork, followed by stretching, and drinking some water to get ready.

Every workout begins with two or three 3-minute rounds of shadow boxing which is throwing punches and moving around at an imaginary opponent, to get your heart pumping and your mind right.

Then after that, usually I go practice Muay Thai for half an hour, pretty much non-stop kicks and punches on a heavy bag. In between rounds of throwing heavy punches, speed punches, jabs, rear leg kicks, push kicks, speed kicks ("Speed" herein means to throw a kick, bring your foot back to the initial position and immediately kick again, no pause, and attempting to keep perfect form.) our Muay Thai coach Rich gives us lectures on theoretical spots we might be caught in while fighting in the cage...where to throw counter punches, why we follow up combinations with a jab, why it's imperative to "turn the hip over". While reading, I hope I'm making a point of how much this strains your cardio and endurance. If you don't believe me, try throwing kicks and punches non-stop for half an hour, taking a 30 second break every couple minutes. It sucks.

Then, with no break in between, myself and the people that I train with head ou to the mats and begin to warm up for brazilian jiujitsu and wrestling practice. Warm ups consist of "shrimping" and various other techniques. After about 5-10 minutes of shrimping and warming up, we go "live" which is to say, for 3 minute rounds we grapple with a partner, going for submissions, better positioning and looking for holes in our ground game. If we're not live rolling, we're practicing single techniques such as triangle chokes, kimura and various other moves that involve bending an opponents limbs the wrong way, or choking them out, all with the intent on getting them to "tap out" which is tapping the mat or your opponent to get them to let go, thus giving up.

                                                                 oooooooooooooouch

Practice lasts usually an hour to an hour and a half, and at the end I'm pretty much drenched in sweat and just want some water and my futon. However, I'm an animal and instead of resting and playing Call of Duty, I usually read about fighting or call my girlfriend, and she'll tell you, I usually talk about MMA.

                                                      Damn MMA geek.

That's a pretty fair synopsis of my MMA training, and even on the days that I have practice, I skip eating lunch with the people I work with and I go to the gym.

I usually do something that looks like this...

-Warm up of hitting a punching bag for a couple minutes
-Followed by 3 sets of max pullups
-Either Back/Bicep lifts, 3 sets of 12 reps, 3 exercises for each, or Chest and triceps, same thing
-an ab routine, 50 normal crunches, 25 side-specific crunches on each side, leg lifts, flutter kicks, and kick outs and other ab exercises. All in all about 10 minutes
-Rope Undulation

and I finish every workout at lunch with 20 minutes of running on an elliptical machine with a variance in slope and resistance.

When I don't have MMA practice, I'm at the gym twice, and my second workout usually involves an hour of elliptical and a shortened verson of my ab routine.

I don't know if these workouts would work for everyone, but in 5 and a half weeks i've lost 23 pounds and have gotten big ups from people around me. It is pretty cool not being a chub-chub anymore haha. I pair this up with dietting, but I'll save that all for another blog entry some other time.

Until next time, and thanks for reading my blog!

TUF 12: Win or Die recap

Last night was the latest episode of the latest season of The Ultimate Fighter. An awesome show to say the least, an elimination tournament between fighters of a certain weight class competing for a 6-figure contract with the Ultimate Fighting Championship. This is the 12th season, and you already know I'm addicted.

This season pits teams picked by Georges St. Pierre (GSP), reigning Welterweight UFC champ, and Josh Koscheck, #1 contender for the title. The fighters competing are lightweights.

So far this season there has been a big domination by Team GSP. They've only lost 1 fight, making their record 5-1. Let's recap on some of the action.

In the last episode; Nam Phan of Team Koscheck defeated Spencer Paige via decision. It was a righteous call on the judges part, Phan outworked Paige relentlessly pretty much the entire fight. This win gave Team Koscheck control of who fights this episode.

At the start, Josh Koscheck picks Marc Stevens to fight Cody McKenzie.  Bad move, Kos. Cody McKenzie came onto this show known already for his dangerous application of the guillotine choke. 17 Seconds into the first round, McKenzie had made quick work of Stevens, putting him out by submission, via guillotine choke. A record for the fastest submission on the Ultimate Fighter. Now, Team GSP has control of the fights again.

This episode features two fights. The next fight sees Jonathan Brookins versus Sevak Magakian.

Brookins sports an 11-3 record coming into the show, and has a strong background in wrestling. He has fought in big promotions too, fighting in Bellator, and the WEC. Interesting fact, Brookins once fought Featherweight champ Jose Aldo in 2008, he lost, but still. Aldo is considered one of the best pound for pound fighters in the world, and Brookins took him to the third round.

Magakian is 8-3 coming into this fight and by the looks of his Sherdog he hasn't fought in any serious promotions and the names on his record aren't impressive by UFC standards. It's noteworthy that Magakian is a hard headed Armenian, who gets angry at the drop of a hat, and always complains about people who have outspoken personalities. He almost attacked Alex Caceres AKA Bruce Leroy in an earlier episode over some gloating. Also, he had his ribs injured by Nam Phan earlier, and on the aftermath segment with Stephan Bonnar, you can hear Magakian complain about this, and he says he "hates Nam Phan" and repeatedly in his foreign accent says "Fuck you Nam, fuck you." I am almost on the edge of my seat waiting to see Magakian get his ass kicked, because well, he is always talking about "knock(ing) him out right there" in regards to people who he can't get along with. End of rant.

In the lead up to this fight, while Brookins isn't busy slicing GSP's forehead open with headbutts, he is prepared by GSP to deal with being thrown, as Brookins has a strong wrestling background, and all the shooting-in for takedowns and other wrestling techniques often leave problems getting thrown.

Brookins, in red, came to meet Magakian in the center of the ring, where the two squared up. Brookins shot in for an early takedown, attempting to scoop an ankle up. However, Magakian shuts him down. Brookins counters with a kick to the ribs, and the two tie up. What happens next is EPIC!

                                                                   
Brookins hooked Magakian up with a textbook throw, and landed in side control, where he attempted a kimura, but Magakian worked out of it. When he got to his feet, Brookins took his back and secured a rear naked choke 2:04 in round 1 to secure Team GSP's second victory in a row, their 5th overall.

Stay tuned for next weeks summary of The Ultimate Fighter right here on my blog!

Tapout; douchebaggery or throwback jersey?

Everyone knows someone who wears TAPOUT clothing. Shirts embossed with the above emblem in varying colors, or maybe the extreme-sportsesque stylized tees with cage print, or blood spatters, or a dude with fire for hair or...whatever. But do they wear these because they're a bunch of wannabe, douchebag jerks or are they supporting their favorite sport?

Haha. Let's go over an experiment I did.

It's become apparent that a certain stigma surrounds people who rock Tapout. I had to test this theory.

I bought a red tee with grey TAPOUT on the chest, the plainest design I could find. Also, I saw one of my more favorite fighters, Dan Hardy, wearing this while he was practicing for his title shot against my #1 favorite fighter, GSP. (DISCLAIMER: I wear it to work out in. I think rocking it to go out in as party attire is a bit much.) The first day I wore it to the gym, I was on the look out for people eyeballing me. It didn't have much effect on people in the weight room, but the people in the crossfit section who were A. Overweight B. Older certainly hooked me up with an evil eye. More so when I put on my training gloves and started doing bag work. I thought it was making me look like less of a poser to actually be doing MMA related stuff in the gym, however, people were a lot more passive agressive than usual. (I hate that about the gym, people not making eye contact, but still paying attention to you with no words exchanged, what's the big deal?)

Next I was on my way to the cardio/weight machine room. Every day in the treadmill area of Ft. Huachucas gym are the same people I see every day there. The army guy in the sleeveless shirt reading romance novels while he hits the elliptical, the fat kid and his mom not doing cardio, but sitting on the leg press/ab machines, the hispanic ladies who are going way too hard, but are in obvious shape because they run for like, hours. Anyway, this hardcore group didn't seem to care what shirt I was wearing, or even notice that anyone else was in the room. I like the cardio room for this reason, because most of the time, the majority of people in there are working out, and have really, really cool haircuts.

But what really drove the fact home was something on my way out of the gym. Up to this point it was on the fence whether or not people who wear Tapout are douchebags in general. However...

I was walking back to my car when two Jersey Shore extras were approaching on foot, orange skin, carrying racquet ball equipment and actual K-Swiss Tennis shoes, designer everything, and they had popped collars and aviator glasses. I was like "oh man, what douchebags." And, sure enough, as I passed by in my TapouT shirt I got a "What's up, BRO?" with a chin-up head nod.

Son, I am disappointed.

I now officially cannot wear anything that says TapouT on it unless I am at the gym, because I literally don't care what I look like in there. However, gone are the days that TapouT is acceptable to hit a bar in, or to go to the movies.

Dethrone, that's where it's at.

A brief breakdown of the history of MMA

                                                                           THIS! IS! SPAR! TA!!!!

Mixed Martial Arts, being a combat sport, has been around since ancient Greece. (Even though, then it was called Pankration and the competitors fought with bare fists, and they fought to the death sometimes).  Fast forward through time, to when Japanese people who had been living warrior lifestyles for centuries ventured to Brazil, bringing with them their skills of Jujutsu, judo and other martial arts.

In the mean time, people everywhere else over time had developed their own martial arts. Boxing, wrestling (WRASSSLIN’ like southpark, not WWE fake redneck soap opera stuff), and brought it to North America as well.

With all these forms of hand to hand combat on the same half of the planet, and an emerging modern era, we can all sort of see what happens next.

   Not quite.

Kano Jigoro was the inventor of Judo. Long story short, he derived a “gentle” martial art from Jujutsu, a more lethal and painful art of smashing your opponent and breaking his limbs. Jigoro taught Judo in Japan, and in his dojo welcomed challenges.  One day Mitsuyo Maeda walked into the kodokan dojo, and began training as a Judoka (judo practitioner).

Enter Carlos Gracie.  Mitsuyo from the last paragraph taught this Brazilian how to do Judo.  Carlos Gracie and his brothers took Judo and eventually came up with the art of Brazilian (or Gracie) Jiu Jitsu, BJJ. BJJ, derived ultimately from Jujutsu back in Japan was pitted in matches against wrestlers, Judokas, boxers, everyone. Originally, Helio Gracie was the main one doing this, and as the Gracie Clan spread their techniques around, pretty soon it was 1993.

                                                                                    YES!

Another reason besides Doom that 1993 was so awesome was Rorion Gracie and some other people set up the very first Ultimate Fighting Championship.

Here was the first time on television that Americans saw kickboxing vs. sumo wrestling, boxing vs. BJJ, wrestling vs tae kwon do.

                                                                                    Wow.

So, from roots dating back centuries, the culmination of derivation in martial arts came down to a day in November of 1993.

Over the next seventeen years, the UFC would evolve, largely in part to Zuffa LLC purchasing it, and the hard work of promoting it and making it a business.  Leading the charge of operations was this man, Dana White.

Soon, instead of being “Human cock fighting” as Senator John McCain from Arizona put it, it began to take on the role of athletic competition, who could mix martial arts together in a blend to out power, out think and out maneuver someone else who was doing the same thing. Who would strike better? Who had more heart to power through tough spots in the battle?

It didn’t take too long for people to see the success of the UFC, and it’s cash crop. The WEC became a subsidiary to the UFC. Originally, the WEC had the standard 5 weight classes, but recently has switched to the 3 lighter-weight classes, and has since been producing some of the most intense, fast paced MMA competition around, with fighters such as Jose Aldo, Urijah Faber, Donald Cerrone, Benson Henderson and Mike Brown. In Japan, PRIDE Fighting Championships had their heyday with huge fighter names like

Wanderlei Silva  

Quinton “Rampage” Jackson

and Dan Henderson.

Other promotions emerged too, such as Strikeforce  and Bellator FC When the UFC bought PRIDE in 2007, the Japanese owners went and remade it, calling it DREAM.

So from ancient warriors, to today where athletes go for broke against each other in pitted matches to be watched by millions, Mixed Martial Arts has become immensely popular, because it’s the most basic sport that there can be. You can lose at football, you can lose at basketball, but even then, you can say “Well, I can still kick Tom Bradys ass”, or “Kobe Bryant is too good at basketball, I can totally beat him up though.” But if someone beats you in an MMA fight, what can you really say?

“Psh…we’ll settle this on the horseshoe court!”